considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Hippo gnu deer
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
