the new term for farting is butt boxing.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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