In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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