Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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