Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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