The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
