:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
