Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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