ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
i need some magic done to my vagina
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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