so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
