remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
