Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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