I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Your penis caused this!
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