Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
