but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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