Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
