While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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