Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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