At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
