Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
