I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
