I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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