dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
