her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Don't tell me you're on acid again
His nipple licking is glorious
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