No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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