To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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