I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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