I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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