found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
The struggles of a small town man whore
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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