i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
