You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
