I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
