the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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