Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
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