Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
