Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
