Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
