dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
