this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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