What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
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