yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
