He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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