ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize