I could make wine with my vomit
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
