eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Randomize
