It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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