Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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