She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
