carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
