like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
It's blow job season.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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