I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
